A Difficult Commute
5 min read
48 He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. Shortly before dawn he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them, 49 but when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, 50 because they all saw him and were terrified. Immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
—Mark 6:48-50
In our moments of deepest distress and fear, we are in danger of losing our hope, losing our minds, and losing our lives. During those moments, like the moment right before dawn, we experience the darkest night of the soul.
Yet, we may see a glimmer of Christ. We may not even be seeing Him for who He is, but when we do, His word comes to life: “Take courage! I AM. Don’t be afraid.”
In those moments, we cannot see clearly because of hopelessness, but Christ sees us clearly. He calls out to remind us of who He is.
The disciples were probably about 2-3 miles out on the lake. Jesus could not “see” the detail of His disciples straining at the oars, but He knew. He was probably watching them for some time. And when He was walking on the water, He was about to pass them by until they saw Him and cried out.
Jesus was certainly not toying with the disciples, so a couple of questions come to mind.
Why were the disciples straining so hard to the point of exhaustion? And why had they not cried out to Jesus for help before they got to that point? And maybe those questions are related.
The disciples were still feeling the disappointment and shame of their failure with the crowd. And that disappointment and shame caused their hearts to harden (verse 52) so that they could not see the primary point of the feeding episode—Jesus is the Great I AM.
Jesus, for His part, saw them and was waiting for them to call out to Him for help. But they did not. They relied upon their own strength, trying to prove that they are worthy of being called by Jesus, instead of trusting in Him.
On at least a couple of occasions in my life, I’m pretty sure that I worked and worried myself sick, almost to the point of a heart attack or stroke. But when I let go and put my trust in Him, Jesus said, “Take courage! I AM. You aren’t. So don’t be afraid.”
Trusting in Jesus more than in myself is the most unnatural thing in the world, especially when I insist on carrying the weight of pride and shame with me wherever I go. By God’s grace, He continues to pursue me, and these lesson sink in.
Father, Your grace is unending, and I confess that I often depend more on myself than I depend on You. Forgive me, Lord. Soften my heart, open my eyes and ears, so that I may lean not on my own understanding but know that You are God and there is no other. In Jesus’s name. Amen.
