Complaining in the Church
6 min read
10 Moses heard the people of every family wailing at the entrance to their tents. The LORD became exceedingly angry, and Moses was troubled. 11 He asked the LORD, “Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on me?”
Numbers 11:10-11
Complaining is contagious—especially when the reason for complaining might be valid. Even Moses joins the Israelites in their complaining. He complains to God saying, “If this is what You have in store for me, just kill me now!” (verse 15). How Korean drama!!!
And what we see here is God’s incredible patience with an immature people having an undeserved sense of entitlement. But that is the history of humanity, and that is the history of the church, for sure.
I, too, find myself in moments of complaining, on occasion. And even when I know in my head that I shouldn’t complain, I cannot deny the complaining in my heart. And I know that God hears my silent complaining, so I just go ahead and lift up my complaining to the Lord. Am I supposed to hide it?
At the same time, I know that I am not entitled to anything. God has given me so much. And so, I remind myself of that reality, even as my heart complains.
When it comes to church, God gives us room to complain. And there is also nothing wrong with healthy critique for the sake of building unity, growing discipleship, drawing us closer to the presence of God, and aligning us to the purpose of God.
But complainers need to be careful and wise. And we all need to be wise and help one another build up the church in love (Ephesians 4: 16).
Most of the time, unhealthy complaining is simply born of hurt feelings. In that case, the motive for the complaining is to lash out and hurt others. The goal of such complaining is to tear down, to divide, to destroy what has been built up in Jesus’s name.
On the other hand, being wise requires us to be self-reflective—to understand the reasons for our feelings and to carefully monitor our words and actions, especially in light of negative feelings—and that, for the sake of others and for the sake of the community and, yes, for one’s own sake too.
That is the fruit of spiritual maturity. And that is why it is critical for church folk to encourage and to help one another grow in spiritual maturity.
It takes a community—a body of Christ—to build up a church. And that body is built up by every single person with Christ at the head. And that body must be built up in the love of Christ.
The only remedy to the kind of complaining that is the result of hurt feelings is the love of Christ. We all need to listen with the love of Christ. We all need to keep each other accountable with the love of Christ. We all need to encourage and build up each other with the love of Christ.
Every hint of unhealthy complaining needs to be smothered with the love of Christ from the community.
Father, Your way is love—not human love, but the love of Christ. Forgive me when I complain out of a sense of entitlement. You have given me everything, but You don’t owe me anything. Grow me and my family in spiritual maturity so that the love of Christ would bear fruit for Your glory and Your church. In Jesus’s name. Amen.
