Face

5 min read

5 The LORD said to Moses, 6 “Say to the Israelites: ‘Any man or woman who wrongs another in any way and so is unfaithful to the LORD is guilty 7 and must confess the sin they have committed. They must make full restitution for the wrong they have done, add a fifth of the value to it and give it all to the person they have wronged.’”

Numbers 5:5-7

I would venture to guess that most church folks do not think or feel that they ever wrong other people, especially other church folks. TBH, I have felt wronged by church folk; I have been wronged by church folk, and (this is crazy) especially by other ministers.

And the Lord has given me an opportunity in the past to share with someone how they had wronged me. And I couldn’t help but be a little horrified and maybe even angry when the person acknowledged that what I said actually happened, but then spiraled into a vortex of self-righteousness and self-justification. No apology for the hurt that was rendered. No confession of the sin they had committed.

But then, it makes me wonder—have I actually wronged other church folks without ever realizing it? Maybe I have. And for that I repent. But how can I repent without knowing what I did wrong?

One of the guiding principles of my life and ministry has been to “save everyone’s face.” Saving face is important to everyone, but especially in Asian contexts. And saving everyone’s face is never an easy thing to accomplish when doing ministry. Pride is a face killer and a relationship killer.

But that guiding principle I have does not make me immune to wrongdoing.

And one of the things that I pray consistently is that God would use me to build people up and not tear them down, to encourage people and not to discourage them, to bless people and not to curse them.

But that prayer that I pray does not make me immune to wrongdoing, either. I know that killer-pride lingers in my spirit too. And so sometimes I feel paralyzed because I don’t want to give the devil something to grab on to—either in myself or in others. But maybe sometimes I do act without realizing it.

This is what makes church life and building church community so difficult. And I hate the devil for make it so hard. But I cannot (I do not) hate my brothers and sisters in Christ. I cannot retaliate against anyone. I cannot condemn anyone. Because I know that Jesus Christ did not do that to me, even though I deserve God’s just judgment each and every day of my life.

I refuse to let the devil win. Christ has already won. So I will keep doing whatever I can to save everyone’s face (including my own!) and to pray that God would use me to build up, encourage, and bless. I will keep exalting the Lord, even if my exaltation should take the form of confession and repentance. Especially so.

Father, Be merciful to me, a sinner. And fill me up with the joy of Your salvation. May my joy in You overcome all pride in me. Make me to love my brothers and sisters, because in truth, we know not what we are doing. In Jesus’s name. Amen.