Willing But Weak

7 min read

36 “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

37 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour? 38 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

—Mark 14:36-38

Jesus was adhering to His own instruction. He was watching and praying so that He Himself would not fall into temptation. Because He knows, better than we do, how weak the flesh is—which explains why He was always praying, as God allowed Him and as He could.

And Jesus’s temptation was far greater than any temptation that any of us would ever have to face. He would face sinful men—men whom He created—shaming, taunting, and torturing Him. He would face a slow and agonizing death on the cross and the jeering of sinful people as they gleefully watched Him die. He would face the wrath of God.

And all of that so that sinful humanity might have a chance to have their sins forgiven through faith. While we were still sinners, Christ did all that for us (Romans 5:8).

What human being could face what He had to face? And so, it was in His humanity that He prayed, “Take this cup from Me.”

For my part, my spirit is most definitely willing, but I know how weak my flesh is too. And like Peter and the disciples, it is hard for me to keep watch and pray even for one hour. But even if I could, the problem would be the next hour.

How many times have I come out of a time of devotion and prayer (even for a full hour or more) and then almost immediately “fallen asleep” to the Spirit and “come awake” to the flesh?

I feel like I would need to keep watching and praying 24/7 to keep me from falling into temptation. But who can do such a thing? And even if I could figure out how to do such a thing, pride would be crouching at the door, constantly ready to pounce.

I realize that all I have is the faith that God has given me.

And it’s not that God has literally given me “faith in Christ,” so that I would be saved. But it’s that God has given everyone the ability to have faith in something, and so with the free will that God has given me, I need to exercise my faith in Christ and in nothing else.

I know that some believers would object very loudly to what I am saying about faith. They would object that my salvation would, then, depend on something more than the grace of God. That is, it would also depend on MY faith. For them, the only way to resolve the dilemma that it DOES require my confession of faith in Jesus to be saved is to say that God has given me the ability to have faith in Christ, while He withholds that ability from others.

So complicated.

In that case, I wish that God in His sovereign power would have given me a stronger faith so that I could faithfully keep watch and pray, so that I would not so easily fall into temptation. But since He did not, should I then just give up on keeping watch and praying for an hour, a minute, a second? No.

All I have is my faith in Christ, and it is up to me to exercise that faith. And so on this Ash Wednesday, I will keep watch and pray in faith—not every second, but as God allows me and as I can.

Father in heaven, blessed are You who understands my weakness and who hears my prayers. Help me to not lean on my own understanding but to put my faith and trust in You only. In faith, I pray that You would grow my faith to keep watch and pray, so that I would not so easily fall into temptation. And may this faith sustain me, even when I am not keeping watch and praying. In Jesus’s name. Amen.