Love Is Hard
6 min read
18 While they were reclining at the table eating, he said, “Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me—one who is eating with me.”
19 They were saddened, and one by one they said to him, “Surely you don’t mean me?”
20 “It is one of the Twelve,” he replied, “one who dips bread into the bowl with me.”
—Mark 14:18-20
What an incredibly awkward meal that must have been. Jesus knew what was in store for Him over the next 24 hours. He would be handed over to the Jews and then to Pilate the next morning to be crucified. At the same time on the next day, Jesus would suffer the full wrath of God on behalf of sinful humanity on the cross.
It would be safe to assume that Jesus was not His normal self, especially on that night during that meal. Were the disciples able to sense the anguish that Jesus must have felt in His heart? I don’t see how they could not. And even if they could not sense it, Jesus told them what was on His mind anyway—one of them would betray Him.
Whatever awkwardness there was that evening just got dialed up to an extreme level. And whatever the disciples were feeling at that moment, I’m not sure that any word could adequately describe it, but “saddened” seems like a major understatement. The actual word in the Greek means “to experience severe emotional or mental distress.”
I wonder why Jesus told them that He would be betrayed the way that He did. He really didn’t have to. And He did not “out” Judas. He just said that one of them would betray Him.
Knowing that one of the major themes of the Gospel of Mark has to do with the nature of discipleship, Jesus must have given them this incredibly distressing news at that very moment as a teaching lesson for His disciples and for all disciples in the future.
What has always astonished me about the last supper is that Jesus knew exactly who would betray Him. And yet He chose to share the Passover meal with His betrayer. And not only that, the Gospel of John reveals that Jesus also loved His betrayer by washing his feet.
Surely, Jesus did not tell the disciples before the meal that one of them would betray Him in order to make the evening unbearably awkward. He wanted to teach them that no matter what kind of suffering they would have to endure, the hope of experiencing the glory of God that comes from doing will of God will put any suffering in its proper perspective—so that we can persevere in doing the will of God no matter what.
If Jesus had “outed” Judas at that meal, Judas never would have made it to the Jewish authorities to betray Jesus. And Jesus would not have gone to the cross. And my sins would not have been atoned for.
God said -
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”
— Isaiah 55:9-11
May this understanding give me strength to do God’s will when it is hard.
Father, I know that You love me. Even in my times of pain and struggle, You have always been there for me. Help me to trust Your ways especially during difficult times so that I may persevere in doing Your will. And whatever struggles we may have suffer, protect me, my family, and this Canvas community from the evil one. In Jesus’s name. Amen.